Let me go to my fucking bed. By myself.
I want nothing on my mind.
I wish for no stress.
Don't want it to be like what ive had in the past.
Don't want to be up in the heights of the night staring at the the ceiling, cursing.
Cursing me and end everyone and everything.
Holding my chest trying to choke back the pain.
The heartache.
Don't want heartache.
I want ease.
I want to be able to sleep.
I want to fucking sleep.
Night
Monday, September 28, 2009
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
Tropical Punch
He usually runs through girls like water.
But this one is different.
She's mango juice.
Thick Liquid.
When him run through, he gets stuck.
And he loves it.
Sleep Tight
But this one is different.
She's mango juice.
Thick Liquid.
When him run through, he gets stuck.
And he loves it.
Sleep Tight
Friday, August 7, 2009
...Better Love Deserving Of
The deep brown eyes that confuse people with black.
How simple it would be to get want I want but how simple it'd be to ruin what I love yet cause me so much misery.
If I were to confess, how would you react?
I dont want to take that chance honey so dont blame me.
I want the closure that i think everyone deserves but cant achieve.
You sure as hell wont be the one to give me that closure.
You own to many right now.
Your head is swollen with the idea that you can have whatever you want and I wont give you the satisfaction behind the terrible truth.
I wont fall into the trap that you've set for so many
I wont let any own my happiness.
I say that but as soon as I see you, i'll melt into a cup mixed with hatred and lust.
Closure is something that I know you cant provide, so I just fuck with your heartless bullshit.
How simple it would be to get want I want but how simple it'd be to ruin what I love yet cause me so much misery.
If I were to confess, how would you react?
I dont want to take that chance honey so dont blame me.
I want the closure that i think everyone deserves but cant achieve.
You sure as hell wont be the one to give me that closure.
You own to many right now.
Your head is swollen with the idea that you can have whatever you want and I wont give you the satisfaction behind the terrible truth.
I wont fall into the trap that you've set for so many
I wont let any own my happiness.
I say that but as soon as I see you, i'll melt into a cup mixed with hatred and lust.
Closure is something that I know you cant provide, so I just fuck with your heartless bullshit.
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
LIFE
LIFE
Life is trouble. It’s full of terrible tragedies that heap up on you and you are then forced to muscle your way out of that conglomeration.
He walks into class thinking of her knowing that he’ll never have her. Understanding this then plunges him into an abysmal pit of depression. He comes home to his guitar thinking about how beautiful she is and how unlucky he is. How she's so happy. The way she smiles. But he knows he’ll never have what he wants.
Then arrives the Emo punk music.
Then comes loss of color in wardrobe.
Then comes the book of melancholy poems.
Then comes his very own Emo-Alternative band.
Then comes the rush of confidence that is then blown down after he realizes that he is in line. In this line for the girl is a channel of, what she considers, dreamy men. He returns to bed with thoughts that keep him up all night. His thoughts are most something resembling
“Im the one for her.”
“We have so much in common.”
“No one would treat her better or love her like I do”
Or something of this sort.
Then comes the emotional self-abuse. He bashes your self all night. Then those insults escalate to physical self abuse thoughts. But in all honesty, he just don’t have the balls. Which brings on more insults by himself. He is made sick by emotions. Headaches, Stomach aches. The comes heart aches. He thinks he is dying in the night. His heart actually begins to hurt. He actually feels as though his heart is breaking. He can’t call out for help because apparently his lungs have collapsed as well. He is stuck in his bed to suffer in a pool of self pity.
He crawls into the bathroom to vomit out his depression in physical form.
Wakes up in the morning with a headache.
This is just one part of life.
Teenage life.
But don’t complain.
At least you have life.
Life is trouble. It’s full of terrible tragedies that heap up on you and you are then forced to muscle your way out of that conglomeration.
He walks into class thinking of her knowing that he’ll never have her. Understanding this then plunges him into an abysmal pit of depression. He comes home to his guitar thinking about how beautiful she is and how unlucky he is. How she's so happy. The way she smiles. But he knows he’ll never have what he wants.
Then arrives the Emo punk music.
Then comes loss of color in wardrobe.
Then comes the book of melancholy poems.
Then comes his very own Emo-Alternative band.
Then comes the rush of confidence that is then blown down after he realizes that he is in line. In this line for the girl is a channel of, what she considers, dreamy men. He returns to bed with thoughts that keep him up all night. His thoughts are most something resembling
“Im the one for her.”
“We have so much in common.”
“No one would treat her better or love her like I do”
Or something of this sort.
Then comes the emotional self-abuse. He bashes your self all night. Then those insults escalate to physical self abuse thoughts. But in all honesty, he just don’t have the balls. Which brings on more insults by himself. He is made sick by emotions. Headaches, Stomach aches. The comes heart aches. He thinks he is dying in the night. His heart actually begins to hurt. He actually feels as though his heart is breaking. He can’t call out for help because apparently his lungs have collapsed as well. He is stuck in his bed to suffer in a pool of self pity.
He crawls into the bathroom to vomit out his depression in physical form.
Wakes up in the morning with a headache.
This is just one part of life.
Teenage life.
But don’t complain.
At least you have life.
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