Clenched Fist And A Ceiling Fan

Let me go to my fucking bed. By myself.
I want nothing on my mind.
I wish for no stress.
Don't want it to be like what ive had in the past.
Don't want to be up in the heights of the night staring at the the ceiling, cursing.
Cursing me and end everyone and everything.
Holding my chest trying to choke back the pain.
The heartache.
Don't want heartache.
I want ease.
I want to be able to sleep.
I want to fucking sleep.
Night